For the record, I wrote this about a year and a half ago, but it is still very relevant....
Right now I really wish God would waffle a little bit and let me have a sneak preview to my future. But alas, our God doesn't waffle. What can I say? I'm in high school. Nobody who's ever gone to high school can deny that everybody wants somebody. No matter what they tell their friends, parents, or even themselves, they want to be loved and desired. We ALL want to be loved and desired. God knows that! He said from the beginning, " It is not good for man to be alone." God made us with those desires, but where's my prince? I'm just dying for a nice piece of man-candy to come into my life, but I fear a will try to cram him into my heart and fill a vacuum there that only God can fill. I have found that chick flicks don't help quench my cut-wrenching desire for a man that I respect and love, who respects and loves me back. Until I get control of that desire I'm not ready for my prince. I know in my head that God has a plan for me and I can trust him, but I already feel so tired of waiting! I think that root of my problem is that I don't believe God loves me enough to send me the perfect man for me. Or even more I'm afraid that I'll meet the man for me, but won't know it's him and miss it all. I'm frightened by the thought that I have no idea who I'm looking for. That scares me. But there's no promise anywhere that says my prince will coming riding up to me on a large, wild stallion, riding bareback. He may not be the tall, dark, handsome, and tender man that I'm dreaming of. But maybe, just maybe, he'll be BETTER! I'm sure God is laughing, saying, "Silly Susu, if I tell you it'll ruin the surprise!" Right now, my Jesus needs to be my knight in shining armor and he sweeps me off my feet every time I remember.... HE LOVES ME INFINITELY AND WANTS ALL OF ME!
So, I guess for now my job is to wait patiently for that perfect man for me, but more importantly to be the princess I need to be for Jesus so I can be ready for my prince (or my pauper). All I know is he'll be mine! We were wrought in the depths of the earth by the great soul-maker to be in each other's arms while we fight the Great Deceiver daily in battle side by side.
It's so great that you are so in-tune with what God wants for you. It seems like you are really trying to wait and listen to him and let him direct your life. That's not an easy thing to do. Also, keep in mind that if you keep trusting in and listening to God, you are a lot less likely to end up with the wrong guy, because hopefully you will end up with exactly who God meant for you to end up with... That's a very comforting thought ;)
ReplyDelete~M&M
Susanna, this made my smile. Everything that you've said is true and every young Christian girl needs to read this and understand it, including me. :) I know exactly how you feel about being scared you'll miss the man that is right for you, but if God wants you to be with someone, He'll tell you :) I love you so much, Susanna!!
ReplyDelete-Cara